The Morning After
0730 – still in bed:
| What are you doing? | Thinking about how late I am. |
| I don’t think you should have to go to work the day after Election Day. Can’t you call in and tell them you are busy planning our gay wedding and checking Whole Foods to see if the marijuana is in yet? | I totally should do that. Will it be there, the marijuana at Whole Foods? |
| Next to the wine section? Bulk herbs? With the spinach? | Maybe you could just go to one of the eighty-five medical marijuana places in our neighborhood and be like, “Hey! Gimme a doobie!†|
| I think you need a special card just to get into one of those places. | Will you be able to get a six pack of doobage at the 7-11? |
| Do people really still use “doobie?†| Clearly. Who’s standing on me? |
| That’s Meep. | I’m sorry Weezie Meep, we still can’t get married. But since gay marriage inevitably will lead to people marrying their pets, it’s now just a matter of time. You’ll have to be patient. |
| No. | But really, Meep, what would it change? It’s just a piece of paper. Are you any less my companion animal because we are not married? |
| She still couldn’t come see you in the hospital. She doesn’t drive, and can’t ride the bus and it’s too far to walk. Plus, she’s not even allowed to leave the house! | See? Silly Weeze. |
| I don’t want you to go to work today. | Me neither. |
| I’m hungry. I want a hamburger. | (((squeeze))) |
| No, don’t squeeze me. I’m hungry. I have to get up. | Me too. I’m late. (((squeeze))) I’m going to wear my party pants today. |
LOVE ((squeeze))
Comment by LINSEY — November 7, 2012 @ 4:19 pm
This is a fabulous conversation. I wish that I could come visit more often, to be witness to such repartee.
Comment by Rachel — December 1, 2012 @ 12:24 pm